Welcome to the unpredictable world of leadership. It does not end when you become a civilian either. The military can get your attention alot quicker. Bottomline you do not have to deal with the attitude and it can be handled in any manner deemed appropriate from corrective training to UCMU. His refusal to sign is absolutely fine. I just don’t think he understands he is setting himself up for failure by not signing forms and having such a bad attitude/tone. We all have things that get under our skin. He is wrong! You and the commander can make any meeting or event mandatory (within reason). For example a hail/fairwell, unit org day, etc. You just cannot make it mandatory to expend funds. As a leader he has a duty and responsibility to show support for the FRG. If appropriate his corrective training could range from: writing an essay, giving a class, or writing a policy letter regarding an appropriate topic. Here are some ASKTOP post you and he may find interesting.
Telling your side of the story:
Should I refuse to sign a counseling:
What should I do when a Soldier refuses to sign a counseling:
Can I order a Soldier to sign a counseling:
Based on the information you provide I am surprised this was not handled more firmly. But that is a decision that must be made by leadership but it is important the SSG understand his behavior is unacceptable and has consequence or you run the risk of him informing the other NCOs of how he told you what you could do with yourself, etc. The adjustment if any needs to be realistic and appropriate. It could even include a negative bullet comment on the working copy of his NCOER. If this was translated to his actual NCOER in today’s draw down it most likely would result in a QMP notice, bar to reenlistment, separation, or similar action. He needs to learn and grow from this issue. but he needs understand he is not bullet proof. As I stated earlier the action needs to be appropriate and should be made when you and your LT have a calm perspective.
On a side note you might want to check out the following tool that is invaluable in issues like this- http://www.armycounselingonline.com/counselor/
Jo B. Rusin
Mark’s points are correct and well taken. However, there may be something else going on with this NCO that you need to check into. It is unlikely that he would ever have made SSG, if this is his normal behavior. He may be experiencing marital problems, which would explain not wanting to attend the FRG, or PTSD/stress related issues, or substance abuse. I would recommend getting the chaplain involved and possibly a command referral to mental health. You and your chain of command need to be calm with an unemotional plan of presentation, but you need to talk with this NCO again. Listen to what is bugging him and then take corrective action.
If the NCO talks with you this way, imagine what he is saying to his Soldiers. Based on my experience, this is ticking time bomb. You need to address the problem and get it corrected (or the NCO separated from the Army as a last resort) before it explodes.
Jo, as usual Great Point! The cause is not always obvious. As leaders we have to look for the root cause!