This response is provide based on the information you provided. You should not use this content as the sole source in making your decision. Seek guidance from your chain of command, JAG, IG., or other appropriate agency. Do your own research. Then make an informed decision.
Yes, your spouse can seek an audience with the commander on open door policy. However, it is totally up to the commander if they will speak with them. They have no official obligation to speak with them. It would be in my opinion, a poor decision by the commander not to speak with the spouse.
Keep in mind that you are responsible for your spouse and their behavior. Should a spouse become unprofessional with a member of the chain of command there are several actions the chain of command can take to include: banding them from the unit area, requesting the garrison restrict or limit certain on post privileges, in overseas locations they can be returned to the states, and in extremely rare situations I have seen a Soldier receive an Article 15 for the actions of their spouse.
Usually when a spouse desires to speak with the Commander it concerns a grievance or complaint. In these situations, they should be able to clearly identify the issue, able to present a reasonable solution, be calm, unemotional, factual as they address the situation. Keep in mind most leaders will take action to resolve problems as they also want what is best for the unit, their Soldiers, and Family members.
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